David Bowie and Jareth, the Goblin King
by LadyBowie1947
Summary: What happens when an author starts to hate her writing and needs something to get back into writing? She forces David Bowie and Jareth to spend quality time together in the Labyrinth. Just a silly little thing for fun though it will be multi-chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **_Okay, so I have been in this huge funk and hating my writing and just wanting to quit. Then I talked to the lovely ladies in the J/DB Harem and I'm feeling better. So, to get myself out of this and FINISH a fic, I'm writing this silly little story – no real plot or anything. Just humor (I hope XD). And yes, ladies, I have kept all advice in mind as I wrote this just as I promised I would. ^^_

* * *

It was somewhere near five o'clock in the evening in New York when a girl of about eleven could be found in front of the television in a small cottage. On the screen, though one would never guess it nor would they believe it, was her father in tight pants and a poofed out blond wig. The girl danced about and sang to the music coming from the television.

"Lexi, sit down," a woman's voice with a thick Somali accent chastised as her father chuckled.

Lexi pouts but does as she's told.

"Now, Iman, she's having fun," David said as he wrapped an arm around his wife. "I was afraid to show Alexandria the film since it wasn't one of my best roles, but I'm glad she's enjoying it."

Iman just shakes her head as they continue to watch.

Once the film is over, Alexandria jumps up and flings her arms around her father as Iman stands to eject the DVD and put it away. "That was amazing, Dad!"

David laughed and hugged his daughter.

Iman, however, didn't seem to enjoy it. She narrowed her eyes at them and planted her hands on her small hips. "David, I know it is part of your past, but you yourself said you didn't like it. And now you've gotten her hooked to it!" As she says the last bit, Alexandria proves her point by beginning to hum "As the World Falls Down."

David looked at his wife, completely confused as to why she'd say such things in front of their daughter. "Darling, if she likes it, what's the harm?"

She, not wanting to listen, simply shakes her head and walks out of the room. She paused in the doorway, however, to throw over her shoulder, "I wish the goblins would come and take Lexi away – right now."

Now, she hadn't meant it and hadn't thought it would work, so she was completely surprised when the lights suddenly blink out and lightning flashes. She whirls around to see small, giggling shadows scurry about the room. Alexandria hides her face in her father's shoulder and he holds her tight. The curtains ruffle around the window and a barn owl beats itself against the glass. Iman, intending to shoo the owl away, glared and stormed to the window, throwing it open. Before she could do anything, the owl swoops in, circling the room before landing in the center, revealing the Goblin King in his black armor, chin raised defiantly and glitter blowing around him.

Alexandria's eyes widened and she stares at him. "You're… You're the Goblin King!" She beamed excitedly and bounced up and down on the couch next to David who could only stare at the man that looked exactly like him yet younger.

Jareth turned to glance at Iman. "Well, it seems you have wished your daughter away."

She shook her head frantically. "No, no! I didn't mean it, I promise." She glanced at Alexandria only to be horrified when she wasn't there.

Jareth crossed his arms. "Whether you meant it or not, you still said it and what's said is said." He twisted his wrist, producing a crystal which he held out to her. "You may run my Labyrinth for your daughter's freedom, or you may take your dreams."

At this point, David managed to collect himself and stood to glare at the younger version of him. "Now, wait a moment. She will not run your Labyrinth." He raised his chin proudly. "I will."

Jareth raised a brow. "You? But you did not wish the girl away. Your wife did."

David shook his head. "I don't care. I will run the Labyrinth."

Iman, being the spoiled beauty queen she was, said nothing and let her husband take the punishment for _her_ mistake.

Jareth sighed and held the crystal out to David. "Very well. _You _may run the Labyrinth for your daughter's freedom, or you may take your dreams."

David narrowed his eyes at the man. "And what do you think I shall choose?"

Jareth sighed and popped the crystal. "The Labyrinth."

"Of course, you idiot."

Jareth waved a hand and the two were at the hill outside the Labyrinth. "You have thirteen hours in which to solve the Labyirnth, or you daughter will become one of us forever." He faded from sight as his voice echoed around David. "Such a pity."

David immediately began his way down toward the Labyrinth and Jareth sighed as he reappeared in his throne room.

"Dad's really running the Labyrinth for me?"

He spun around to find the girl sitting cross-legged in his throne. "Yes. He is. Now you must get out of _my _throne." He waved a hand to indicate she move.

She simply crossed her arms. "Where do you expect me to sit? The floor?"

"Of course not." Jareth gestured to the pit in the center of the floor with the pillows. "You have pillows to sit on."

Alexandria narrowed her eyes. "I wish _you _were running the Labyrinth with my father."

And with those words, Jareth found himself standing on the hill, looking down at the entrance to his Labyrinth where David was just stepping into the Labyrinth.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **_And I leave you with that. ^^ Like I said, this isn't a huge project that I'm going to flip out over making it perfect. (I am, hover, going to flip out at the chinchilla that keeps running into my laptop and closing it with her ball. She's not mine. She's my brother's). Anywho, there shall be more. And hopefully sooner than updates with any other story I've started since this is just a silly little fic to get myself into writing again. R&R, my little readers (and no, that does not mean Rest and Relaxation, though I could use some, haha)._


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOE: **_So much for being a light, easy fic to get me into writing… Updates are _still s_low… Curse being eighteen and looking for a job and college… e.e Oh, well… Shall do the best I can with all my fics. Anywhos! Onto review replies! =D_

**Lovejareth**: _Glad you thought so. ^^_

**Sarah Rose 29**: _Might be a "neat" idea, as you say, but it isn't an original. There are a couple others like mine. ^^_

**Anni girl**: _I'm glad you're so excited for more. ^^_

___Oh, and I realized I made a chronological error from the end of last chapter and where Jareth comes in in this chapter. I've fixed the last line of Chapter One, so they should fit now._

* * *

As David wandered down the hill, he spotted someone small standing near a fountain. He cleared his throat and raised his chin. "Excuse me?"

The dwarf jumped in surprise and turned around to face him. He was wrinkled and had gray hair. He held what appeared to be some sort of spraying device. "Oh, uh, excuse me." He eyed David warily and wrinkled his nose. "You ain'ts that rat, but you looks like that rat."

David raised a brow. "I assume by 'that rat,' you mean the Goblin King?"

The dwarf's reply was a simple grunt.

David nodded slightly in satisfaction. "Yes, well… I'm David Bowie. I'm running for my daughter."

The dwarf nodded. "I'm Hoggle."

"Pleasure to meet you, Hoggle," David said in a light tone. "Now, how do I get into the Labyrinth?"

Hoggle's face lit up in surprise that he called him by his name and that knew the exact words and he stepped forward, pointing. "Ahh… you gets in _there_."

With a smile and a nod, David stepped forward toward the gate. "Thank you, Hoggle." He stepped into the Labyrinth and looked at the corridor that went left and right.

"Well, now," came a voice that made David curl his lip and glare at the wall. "You aren't going to call him by his proper name the whole time, are you? It's terribly boring."

David turned to glare at Jareth. "I see no point in calling the poor thing by the wrong names. And what are _you _doing here so soon?"

Jareth glared. "Your daughter wished for me to run my Labyrinth with you."

David chuckled and shook his head in amusement. "That's my Lexi." He turned and entered the Labyrinth once more, looking left and right.

Hoggle slipped in before Jareth and stood in front of David. "Now. Would you go left or right?" He gestured to each end of the corridor.

"Right." David began walking that way, leaving Hoggle and Jareth staring after in surprise.

"Wait a minute!" Jareth hurried forward and gripped his upper arm. "How are you so sure about going _that _way?"

With a glare, David shrugged his arm free. "Easy. I played you in a film. I know how the Labyrinth works." With that, he left Jareth staring in shock once more and continued down the path.

At this point, Hoggle had become too confused and left the pair alone, slamming the Labyrinth doors on his way out.

Once Jareth regained his senses, he followed after David. "What makes you so sure the Labyrinth is how it was in your film?"

David shrugged and pushed a branch out of his way, letting it snap back into place and effectively tearing a hole in Jareth's shirt sleeve, making the immortal growl in annoyance. "_Is _it any different?"

Jareth just crossed his arms and grumbled.

David smirked. "Thought so."

The pair kept walking, mindful of the sticks, twigs, and branches littering the floor and protruding from the walls. David had found amusement in pushing one aside for himself and letting it snap back into place to scratch at Jareth, making the Goblin King grumble in annoyance and hiss in pain when a particularly thick branch cut his arm or chest or wherever the branch had reached to swipe at.

After a few moments, David stopped and looked down. "There's supposed to be a worm here. Blue hair and red eyes."

Jareth snorted. "Perhaps he's away. Or inside. Who cares? Let's go." He turned to the wall and reached out to be sure his pathway was there. It was.

David watched him curiously as he stepped through and followed him, looking left and right. "Well, then. Which way?"

Jareth snorted. "Don't you know?" He smirked in amusement. "That film of yours and all that. And anyway, there's no guarantee the left will take us to the castle as it did in that film. The Labyrinth's paths change. The left could very well lead into the stone maze this time."

David rolled his eyes. "Then which way are we going?"

Jareth rested a hand to his chin in thought as he looked both ways. "Hm… Left is usually the castle… right is usually the stone maze… But if the paths changed… right would be the castle… So we go left."

David stared at him in a mixture of surprise and horror – honestly, was this man stupid? – then narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "How the hell did you get that solution?"

Jareth sighed in frustration, his thoughts on the other man the exact same as David's for him. "Easy. If the left path has changed, it's now the stone maze. But the Labyrinth may have guessed we'd come up with the solution and go right to go to the castle, therefore leaving the paths the same. So, if we go left, we'll get to the castle."

David just blinked, not exactly sure he got it. "Fine, fine, we go left." He grumbled and stepped through the pathway. He stopped and stared around then narrowed his eyes and whirled on the other man. "I thought you said this would be the castle!"

Jareth snorted. "I never said for sure it would be. It's still a fifty-fifty chance with the Labyrinth. There is no for sure path."

David refrained from wrapping his hands around the Goblin King's neck and turned to glare at the path before them.

The pair had indeed found the stone maze.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **_Okay, so this is short, but it's something… Most chapters shall be short, so... I put this together in maybe a half an hour... It's amazing, I go through months of writer's block, then get what I need in a short burst of inspiration. Anyway, can't make any promises on the next chapter. ^^_


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOE: **_I still hate writer's block. e.e BUT reading some of the great reviews that beg (okay, that may be a bit strong) me for more make me feel so much better about this fic._

_And I realized I forgot a review (or perhaps a few reviews - honestly, something is confusing me with this… e.e) for chapter one in the beginning of my chapter two, so it (or they) is (or are) included here with the reviews to chapter two._

**Lucifea Nightshade: **_Haha, I barely put Lexi in and only in chapter one. But I'm glad you like her. You gave me an idea for this chapter, just by the simple line, by the way. ^^_

**tazzledmuch****: **_Glad you like it. ^^ I love playing Jareth as an idiot. He can be very intelligent though when needed. But in a silly little thing like this, I like to play him as an idiot._

**Lovejareth: **_Your review made me laugh. ^^ I totally know how you feel about wanting the author to update RIGHT NOW, haha. I'm trying to do the best I can. And as I said, I like playing Jareth as the idiot in silly things like this. But I'll try not to make him _too _idiotic. From what I've read about David's private life, Lexi _is _Daddy's girl, so I had to play her that way the best I could. =D By the way, if you haven't guessed, I love David Bowie, too. –Insert heart image here since FF will take it away from me if I type it-_

**lunastarr 68: **_While I do think that's a good idea, I don't _like _Jennifer Connelley's character _at all _so I won't be adding the two females. Sorry. ^^;_

**lolgirl: **_Glad you love it. ^^_

**notwritten: **_Thank you. ^^_

**Guest: **_I was so excited when I heard about that! ^^ Though I doubt it'll have any influence on my story. And I would have updated on David's birthday, but I had no internet, sadly. _

**lylabeth 1: **_Actually, I don't think it's against any rules. It is still fan_fiction _because of the setting, plot, and Jareth and all the other _fictional _characters. And if you'd take a moment to _look, _you'd see there are a few unfinished David Bowie/Jareth stories out there on FanFiciton already and a few with _other _famous people in them. As for David and Iman not "appreciating" my story, frankly, I don't give a goblin's ass what Iman thinks and if David doesn't like it, then he can tell me himself. (-Swoons-) Until then, there is nothing wrong with my story and I am going to finish it. And I don't care if it's something you'd do or not. I got the idea and thought it'd be fun to get myself back into writing._

_Well, now that rants/reviews are finished… ON TO THE STORY! =D And yes, even reviews that make me mad get ranted at here - publicly - instead of PM. So beware what you say to me because I _will _rant at you in the replies at the beginning of the next chapter. –Innocent smile- Also, as I said above in a review, I would have had this posted for David's birthday, but our internet was out. e.e_

* * *

Back in the castle, Lexi had settled into Jareth's throne, hugging her knees and watching the goblins though she soon got bored of watching chicken race after chicken race. With a huff, she slid off the throne and slipped from the room, going up the winding staircase to the rest of the castle.

When she got to the top, she saw the Escher Room to one side and another set of stairs to the other. Deciding she didn't feel like wandering around the stair room, she hurried up the second set of stairs, her bare feet slapping against the stone steps and her palms sliding along the walls to either side of her.

At the top, she saw that there was a hall with many doors and a staircase at the other end. She peeked into one to find a giant library with books from floor to ceiling all around, fireplaces, chairs, end tables, and sofas. Her eyes widened as she stepped in, looking around. She didn't notice the boy with messy brown hair and the blond woman that resembled Jareth sitting on a sofa nearby.

The woman frowned as she sees her. "Excuse me?"

The boy looks up to where the woman was looking, frowning when he sees Lexi.

Lexi jumped with a yelp and stared at her.

The woman frowned more. "Who are you?"

Lexi stuck her chin out defiantly. "Alexandria. My daddy is running the Labyrinth because my mother wished me away."

"Then you should be in the throne room with Jareth." The woman stood, intending to take her back to the throne room, but Lexi stepped back, glaring.

"He's running, too. He was mean to me so I wished him to run with my daddy."

The boy snorted. "Jareth running his own Labyrinth?" He became thoughtful for a moment then giggled and tugged the woman's skirt. "Thea, give me a crystal so I can watch."

The woman - Thea - rolled her eyes and easily conjured a crystal with a twist of her wrist and handed it to him.

Lexi's eyes widened. "Whoa… He did that, too!" She frowned thoughtfully and tilted her head. "You look like him."

Thea smiled softly. "He is my older brother. Now, come on." She gestures her toward the door. "Wished-aways are not allowed past the throne room."

Lexi huffed and ducked away then glared at Thea and crossed her arms. "I don't want to go sit with those smelly goblins."

The boy snorted again. "Good thing Jareth isn't around - he'd be angry at you for talking bad about the goblins."

Thea rolled her eyes. "Hush, Sora. Watch your crystal."

Sora giggled and went back to watching Jareth in the crystal.

Thea turned back to Lexi, but frowned when she was gone. "Slippery little thing, ain't she?" She shrugged and sat with Sora, tugging a piece of his hair. "What's my brother doing now?"

* * *

What Jareth was doing was muttering angrily as he followed David through the stone maze. "We've passed this part already. You're going in circles, you bloody twit!"

David growled and glared over his shoulder. "Do you know where to go then? It _is _your Labyrinth, after all."

Jareth's only reply was a snort as he looked away.

"Thought so." David went back to glaring at the stones as he walked. "Wait a minute…" He frowned as he rounded a corner to see a set of double doors and the four guards where a blank wall had been the last time they'd passed this area. "It changes?" Jareth snorted once more, making David glare. "That is getting terribly annoying."

He rolled his eyes instead. "The Labyrinth changes-"

David just stared at him blankly. "No, really? Never would have guessed."

"Sarcasm is unnecessary."

David rolled his eyes and turns to the guards. "I remember you four. You lead to the Helping Hands - one of the few Labyrinthians I liked."

Jareth blinked at him. "You like the Helping Hands?"

With a sigh - expecting more arguing - David looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Yes. I do."

"I do, too." He grinned. "They are one of the few of my subjects that do not drive me insane."

David chuckled and gestured to the guards. "Get us through to them then?"

Jareth raised a brow at him. "You do not wish to get to the castle?"

David shrugged. "I suppose not at the moment. I know we'll have a few other chances to get to the castle and I know we have plenty of time left."

"You are going to waste time to visit a set of grimy hands?" By now, Jareth was sure this man had to be dumber than the rock caller.

He shrugged. "Just get us through."

With a sigh of annoyance, Jareth stepped forward and glared at the guards, hands on narrow hips. "Which of you leads to the Helping Hands? I demand you tell us now."

They all blinked at him and the top two looked at each other while the bottom two looked at each other as well. The bottom red one looked at him sheepishly. "We cannot tell you, Your Majesty."

Jareth growled and crossed his arms. "I am your King; I _demand _you tell me!"

"Uhh…" They exchanged nervous glances again before the red one looked at him again with that same pleading look. "We don't know."

"But they do," the blue piped up as they both peered up at the top guards.

Jareth growled. "Enough! I grow tired of this! Tell me now!"

The top red one raised his chin proudly. "You can't ask us; only one of us."

The top blue one quickly agreed. "Mhm! It's in the rules! But I should warn you that one of us always tells the truth and the other always lies. That's a rule, too."

"He always lies," the red pipes in.

"I do not; I tell the truth."

"Ooh, what a lie!"

Jareth shook with anger and fisted his hands at his side, snarling. "Enough!"

They immediately went quiet and David sighed. "Just pick one. These twits won't tell you."

"Fine." He stepped forward and pushed the right one open and David quickly followed him.

As the floor gave out and they fell into the shaft of Helping Hands, David let out a cry of excitement.

Jareth, however, glared as they were smushed together. "How can you find this _fun_?! And do let go of _that_; it is not a hand."

David made a sound of disgust as he yanked his hand away, looking down at the Helping Hands with a wide grin.

A few hands made a face in front of them. "Well, which way?"

Jareth sighed in frustration. "We are going down. Thanks to this idiot," he muttered.

David chuckled. "What's the fun in going back up to go into the other door? We're here, aren't we?"

Jareth just growled low at him as the hands dropped them down into the oubliette.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **_Ah, Thea and Sora make little cameos in the beginning of the chapter. ^^ For those who don't know Thea, she is Althea - the woman from "A Midnight Visit." And we know Sora from all my Kingdom HeartsxLabyrinth crossovers. Anyway, sorry for the long wait - writer's block then internet going out when I wanna post. e.e Make no promises on the next chapter. ^^;_


End file.
